‘Cause I can’t make you love me
if you don’t
You can’t make the heart feel
Something it won’t
— “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt
I recently read a blog post. In it there was the phrase “I need to get better at handling rejection”
My comments here are not about the contents of the post. But about the phrase above.
Why be afraid of rejection? Because we want control. We want to predict success. But we can’t predict success. I approach you, you don’t react as expected. My thoughts race to rejection.
Rejection is selfish. But does it have to be that way?
I say there’s no need to handle rejection if you don’t call it rejection. If you calculate into life’s equation uncertainty, then there’s nothing negative about rejection. It’s one outcome.
As Jim Rohn said, “discipline your disappointments.”
But is it a disappointment if it was anticipated? I don’t mean anticipate rejection. I mean, don’t be surprised by it. Plan for it.
Some people have figured out that you can’t lead a horse to water, but you can salt the oats.
Former Success magazine editor Darren Hardy described how he found his wife. He made a detailed list of the qualities he wanted in her. He then asked a crucial question. Who do I have to become to attract a woman like that?
New game: Don’t make people love you, just become attractive to those you care about – starting with yourself.