Honest To God

“Honesty is such a lonely word

Everyone is so untrue.

Honesty is hardly ever heard.

And mostly what I need from you.”

– “Honesty” by Billy Joel

The truth shall set you free.

I’m restless. I want honesty in my life. I don’t mind putting a mirror to my life and seeing what it reflects. I’m not scared of the truth, anymore.

Well, that’s not totally true. I’m scared of some parts of my truth. But I want my truth. I want my truth so I can be free.

Impressing myself may be the theme for my year. But the ultimate result of impressing myself is freedom. I want to impress myself with a real me. 

I want a real me that’s healthy. Healthy in my relationships. Healthy in my health. Healthy with my finances. Healthy with my conscience.

I dislike it if you call me fat. But I am fat. Does being fat impress me? Of course not. My disillusion keeps me captive. Not that I thought I wasn’t fat. But, I don’t want a false self. A false self does not serve me.

So who are you? What are you about? Where are you going? Whose company are you keeping? 

The truth is to be a good liar, you must be good at lying to yourself. I’ve done that for too long. I’ve walked too many miles in that fog.

I just want the light. I just want awareness. I just want the truth.

Honest To God

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