There’s the real you. Then it’s the you you show everybody else. Should both be the same? Yes.
But we don’t show who we are for shame. I’m still working out this line of thinking. It one I read in Donald Miller’s Scary Close book. You have a self. Then something happened causing you shame. Then you out a third layer to hide the shame.
So insecure people hide their shame with cockyness. I hide my shame by withdrawing. Now, what I’m exploring is what’s my shame. I know I have it. I’m covering it up with withdrawal. What rings true at this moment is I feel I don’t have something to say. I’ve had a long standing thought of who would listen to me?
I don’t know where that comes from. As far as I know I was never rejected by my mother or grandmother who raised me? Maybe the lack of a father figure in my life? I know I have this sense of not being important. And important is not the right word. It is a sense of I matter. Or the lack of belief that I do.
The outer shell hiding your shame is probably what people would say about you. You made that layer up. Underneath is shame hiding who you are. But you are not your shame. That’s you helping the enemy win. You are surrounded by shame. The job is to clear the cobwebs in your conscience. To seek awareness. To be content with who you are. That doesn’t mean satisfied with who you are. Then ask is this okay?
The thing with lying to others is you have to lie to yourself, first. Are you okay with that?