What happens when you’re gone.

Who misses you when you leave? A long time ago, I was at a park looking at the lake going back and forth on a swing. I thought if I die, who would miss me?

It was just my son and I at that point I my life. And of course, I thought my son would miss me. But he was young. I convinced myself he would have a small memory of me and would be tough and go on. He had plenty of people in his life.

 I thought about my mother. I followed that thought with she is old. Yes, she will be miserable for a short while. 

What kind of place mentally must one be to have those thoughts? It’s not necessarily a mental state. It can be a physical state. One just has to believe they are alone – utterly alone.

I didn’t think anyone would miss me. But quite honestly, I put myself in the situation to think I wouldn’t be missed.

I had trained myself to be in the background. Chief of staff rather and President. Charles Munger to Warren Buffet. Steve Wozniak to Steve Jobs.

So, what happens when you’re not in the spotlight? But you say you don’t want to be in the spotlight, yet wonders if anyone remembers you if you were to leave stage right.

I had made myself forgettable, I still do to an extend, but wondered if anyone would care.

We all want a life of meaning. We can’t go through life wondering if what we did caused no effect. No one should be on a park swing wondering if they matter.

What happens if I’m gone today? I’d leave a mother alone and constant tears with a broken heart, a widow and fatherless sons. I matter. Thank God I stuck around to find that out.

You matter, too.

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What happens when you’re gone.

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