You sit on the bench watching the other team celebrate. You watch the other team’s fans lose their minds. You wonder what would it feel like. You’re on the outside.
That’s me on the bench- watching. The years have come and they have gone. I have watched the winners win way too often. I’ve sat on the couch watching winners raise trophies. I’ve been happy for others winning American Idol. I’ve applauded other people’s performance.
I don’t get in the game. I don’t get on the stage. I don’t audition. I watch from a distance.
One can predict the outcome of not participating in life. You get to be a witness to history but not being part of history.
And I can’t find the drive. It’s not that my life is bad. Some may actually want what I have. I am greatful. I just don’t feel I’m holding a trophy over my head. No celebration in the locker room. No reporter asking me how does it feel?
A not so purpose driven life. What else could come of it? A non wisdom seeking life. What could come of it?
I’ve been here. I’ve said these things. And I have not moved from comfort. What has comfort gotten me? Here. I’ve been here for a long time. I’ve been wishing for a long time.
Here’s the thing: I know what it takes to get me out of this hole. I’m just not willing to do the work. I just won’t do the hustle. Why? Because the results won’t come right away. I have the map to where I want to go. I just hate it’s going to take a long time to get there. But what if instated by journey four years ago? I would be arriving.
I can’t do anything about the past. Ahead is a long journey. And I need to be ok with that. I have to start, focus and finish.
Am I ready to get started?